CRASHING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD INCOMING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive tsunami of spam is about to crash down on your email. We're talking disgusting amounts of phony emails packed with vile porn. These losers are trying to scam you out of your hard-earned cash, so be super cautious. Don't click on any buttons in these emails, and report them immediately. Don't get caught!